4 weeks pregnant.

Baby size: Tardigrade (still)

No-one told me how unimaginably boring pregnancy is.

Literally all that’s happened in the last week is that I’ve had to stop consuming a bunch of stuff that I like (um, ibuprofen?) and I’ve got nothing to show for it except sore boobs, mood swings and cramps. We can’t buy anything yet, my first midwife appointment isn’t for 2 weeks, we can’t really tell anyone and there’s nothing to see. So yeah, I’m bored.

The one only vaguely not boring thing is the Nurture app I’m using to track my pregnancy. I’ve managed to very quickly find a community of women who are all due around the same time as me so we’ve been sharing symptoms and talking to each other about how we’re feeling, which is really nice and almost makes up for the fact that I can’t really speak to anyone in real life. I mean, we have told my parents, and I’ve told a couple of friends, but we’re waiting until Xmas to tell everyone else and I’m trying my best to stick to it, just in case.

It’s the ‘just in case’ that’s the real killer here. As bored as I am, I am also paranoid. I have no reason to be, above and beyond the usual risks of pregnancy. Ok yes, I am a bit older than the average first-time mother, but not much, and I am a bit chubby, but not to the point of my weight being a problem. So it’s more a general paranoia that comes and goes with each passing cramp, and has me running to the loo each time to make sure everything’s ok. Which is a bit of a pain because I’m running to the loo all the time anyway. Apparently you need to pee a lot when you’re only 5 weeks pregnant. This makes no earthly sense to me, but there we go.

Being pregnant in a pandemic isn’t exactly great for distractions either. I’d love to go out, maybe to a movie or for dinner or something, but the paranoia has me too worried to even go to the supermarket when it’s busy, let alone out for frivolous trips.

At least there are a couple of things to look forward to. We’re going to start decorating the spare room soon so it’ll be ready in time for early March, which is when the experts say you can start buying things. And telling the rest of our friends and family at Xmas will be a treat. Plus I’ve commissioned some bespoke announcement cards from a friend that I’m going to have framed for people, so that’ll be really lovely.

Ugh, I just wish I didn’t have to wait for all these amazing things to start happening!