14 weeks pregnant

Baby size: house mouse

Apparently kiddo is now the size of a large lemon, which is good to know because I actually don’t know how big a house mouse is. I mean, I’ve rescued enough rodents from cat’s mouths to have a fairly good idea, but I’m never certain of exactly what type of rodent they are, or how old. And I have rescued a lot of rodents, of all different types and sizes. The trick to getting them out of the cat’s mouth is to suffocate the cat. Doesn’t hurt them, but does make them open their mouths!

Small confession: I actually don’t know how big most of the pregnancy app animal sizes have been – I just find them cute.

Not much has gone on since last week, tbh. Although we did get the scan results back (really low for everything, which is awesome), and I am definitely showing now. It’s been difficult to tell because I did have a bit of a tummy before getting pregnant, but actually the hyperemesis melted some of that off so I can definitely see that I’ve … expanded, a bit. Definitely not in ‘popping’ territory just yet, but I think it would probably be a bit weird if I hadn’t changed at all in nearly 4 months.

Nearly 4 months! It seems so strange when I write it. Of course, we’ve only known about it since week 4, so that’s just 2.5 months of us knowing we were pregnant. And basically nothing has happened in that time, except for me being ill and us going to 2 scans. Although last week, after we got our screening results back (really low risk for everything) I did take my insta off private and start shopping for a few baby things. Nothing major to begin with! Just some snuggle toys and basic newborn clothing, and a playmat that looked especially cute and which John Lewis had priced ridiculously low so if I didn’t buy it now it would have sold out. We’re leaving the big ticket items – travel system, cot bed etc – til after the 20 week scan.

Taking my insta off private was a bit nerve wracking. I’m definitely still scarred by how my old bully behaved when Remi died. The bitter savagery and complete cold-heartedness of mocking someone when they are grieving, is something so completely alien to me that I wouldn’t have thought it possible, even of her, but then, as I was so completely wrong in my underestimation of her at that time, I do honestly believe that there’s a real chance she would climb out of her hole to mock me again if something happened with this baby. And that’s not something I’m sure I could endure. So that’s why I’ve had everything on private until now. But R did say I was being a bit silly – after all, it has been years since the last time she attacked me, and if she did she’d only be exposing herself as the c*nt she is. As would anyone else who dared be horrible, if something were to go wrong. So … bugger it! I need to be more robust, so insta is going on public. But just in case, my blog posts can stay private for now.

The next event, which won’t be for a couple of weeks, is that we have another scan booked so we can find out the sex early. I literally have no patience whatsoever, and it will give us the opportunity to have another look at how kiddo is getting on. My sickness is going away but I’ve started getting really bad headaches and my rhinitus hasn’t shifted, so I still feel a bit crap and this will give me another much-needed pregnancy boost. I mean honestly, is there one shitty pregnancy symptom I’m not going to get? There are things that I’m not going to discuss with anyone other than my doctor / midwife, let alone on here, that would literally turn your stomach and make your hair stand on end. Pregnancy is not a walk in the park, people. And if you are / were one of these mythological, unheard-of women who actually found it super fun and enjoyable and didn’t get any stretch marks and bounced back straight away, I’m so sorry but gtfo.

I actually have some other big news that I am dying to write about, but which I can’t write about because it’s actually not my news to share, so I’ll have to sit on it for now. But it’s very exciting, and there are definitely crazy times ahead!