17 weeks pregnant

Baby size: chipmunk

The past few weeks have been so uneventful, it’s been difficult for me to find something worth writing about. Most of my unwanted pregnancy symptoms – the sickness, the rhinitis, and the constant fatigue, to name only the most egregious – have all but disappeared. I’m still getting all-day headaches and am now entering my 4th month of chronic constipation (will I ever poop normally again???) but apart from that, and some mild heartburn, I really am feeling so much better.

All this is doubly wonderful because I have actually started to feel the baby move, and I think if I was still feeling ridiculously poorly I either wouldn’t have realised or would have been too miserable to care. As it is, feeling the little flutters and swishes has been wonderful, and it’s definitely made me feel a bit closer to the kiddo. And my belly looks so big now! I’m a bit worried about how big it is actually – especially on the days that I’m also bloated, as it just seems to stick out so far, but I’ve only put on 2lbs since losing all the weight from the hyperemesis so I know that I’m not in any kind of danger zone; it’s just weird.

We also have some big news, in that 2 days ago we went for a private scan and found out we’re having a [redacted]! Now, let me be very clear – either sex, or both, or neither, or whatever, would have been fine. As long as our child is happy and healthy, that’s all that matters. And if our kid grows up and decides they want to choose for themselves, that’s completely fine and we will support the heck out of them. But I can’t lie and say I wasn’t hoping to have a [redacted]. I’ve always wanted one and we already have a name picked out, so this news has made me really happy. Even more so because, despite all the problems I’ve had with this pregnancy, I’m almost sure I want to have 2 kids and having my preferred option come first takes the pressure off a bit. R is happy too, as he didn’t really have a preference either way as long as he gets to do the rough and tumble stuff.

It’s my birthday on Wednesday. I am not thrilled about the fact that I will be turning 36, but at least that’ll be the oldest I’ll be when the baby is born. I’m still not fully reconciled with this whole ‘geriatric pregnancy’ thing and I do wish we’d had the opportunity to have kids a bit younger, but realistically I know we made all the right choices about establishing ourselves before we started a family. I have a great career, I make a lot of money, we own our own house, we live in a really nice neighbourhood and we’re a strong couple. We wouldn’t have been able to claim most of those things 5 years ago, when we still lived in Leeds and I had only just started contracting. I LOVE the life that we have now, and I’m really glad we’re able to bring our child into a safe, secure, happy environment. We’ve worked hard and we have been lucky, and we have also been privileged. I know I’m certainly making sure to thank the people who supported us along the way, and who will continue to support us as we raise our little one.