9 weeks pregnant

Baby size: Eastern tailed-blue butterfly

I have been feeling so much better. The medication I got put on last week has put paid to about 70% of the previously-unending misery I was living in, due to severe morning sickness. I’ve been eating, I’ve been out of bed, and on Monday I started work again – something I was genuinely scared wouldn’t be possible.

This isn’t to say that I’m feeling completely better. I’m not. I’m still so tired all of the time, and I start retching if I move about too much, so I’m trying to alternate between sitting up on my laptop and lying down with my laptop. However, the 3 1/2 weeks I’ve already spent lying down have left my with a really sore back and hips, so this really isn’t a comfortable situation. And I’ve got some other problems going on too – severe constipation and unending rhinitis, which means I can barely breathe through my nose. But they say that week 9 is the worst week for MS so I’m hoping that in the next couple of weeks I should be feeling better enough to spend more time in my office, and hopefully the other symptoms should start easing off after week 12.

There’s not a huge amount more to say about the last week. I still don’t really feel that connected to this pregnancy. It’s weird, because I was so excited to finally be pregnant, but then all this trouble started and now I kinda just wish things would go back to how they were before. But I suspect a lot of that is due to COVID and the ongoing restrictions. We have a holiday booked for June – just to go back to Dubrovnik, no big deal – and if it turns out we can’t go I will be completely and utterly devastated. I know this might sound silly but I feel like I’m living in a small, dark, cold, lonely little world right now. I feel depressed and isolated. All I want is to have a week of enjoying myself in my most favourite place in the entire world – the balcony of our honeymoon apartment, in the sun, with a good book – and I know I’ll feel happy again. And it’ll be our last chance before the baby arrives! So that’s what I’m going to focus on. As long as we can make it to June and get out of the country for a bit, everything will be ok.